Man and pig: what’s the difference?

IT’S very easy to forget about the politics at home, especially if you don’t read the Chronicle, Herald or watch ZTV for that matter. I could not afford the local rag which I thought was overpriced for the four pages of propaganda and classifieds it contained.

We all know the story behind ZTV. People have found it to be less stressful not to follow the ups and downs of the GPA. They are keen to put that aspect of their lives behind to concern themselves with issues of survival.

Don’t get me wrong, things are far much better than in 2007 or 2008 in Zimbabwe. The shortage of cash is the major crisis. None is available to throw around and the little that trickles in is directed towards food purchases.

But those firmly ensconced on the gravy train don’t experience any of this. They could be living in Europe for all we care.

What’s really disconcerting are the stories of blatant corruption on both sides of the political divide that fill the grapevine every single day. How George Orwell rings true in his 1945 classic Animal Farm when he writes: “The creatures outside looked from pig to man, and from man to pig, and from pig to man again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

In Chitungwiza, all the councillors from Morgan Tsvangirai’s MDC have been suspended by their party though the Zanu PF minister insists that he will continue to work with them.

Then we have news from the Eastern Highlands that more diamonds have been discovered on Roy Bennett’s Chelmsford farm. Remember that some years back gold was found there, leading to a rush that culminated in the occupation of that prime piece of real estate.
We are told that while the treason trial is in full swing, notwithstanding the drama and comic performance of the prosecuting team and witnesses, some mining company is busy dredging the precious stones Nicodemously!

The amount of greed surrounding the exploitation of some of our mineral resources leads one to believe that they were better distributed during the diamond rush and gold than they are now. At least the ordinary people got to benefit!

Now we hear that the parliamentary select committee that has been unravelling the web of looting is about to be stopped dead in its tracks because it’s now dabbling with “sensitive” issues.

Let us turn to other issues of concern. I noticed that the City of Bulawayo has begun painting road markings on some roads. If you ask me, it’s like putting lipstick on a pig. What is the point of road markings when you have to zigzag around the plethora of potholes and “drum” holes littering most of the cities roads?

Sure, credit is due to the council for trying its best in fixing the worst of our roads, but as the rain season recommences, all that has come to naught. What we need is the resurfacing and reconstruction of some of these and don’t tell us that there isn’t any dough. God has given us enough diamonds that can pay for the construction of the Cape to Cairo highway if we wanted to.

The civil servants have a point too, that if all that wealth were redirected from certain people’s pockets, we wouldn’t be whining about “targeted illegal restrictive sanctions” or whatever you might want to call them. Even my two year old son knows that you cannot work for nothing. That is the rule of work. No pay, no work, it’s as simple as that. Never mind the fact that the country has not collapsed without the bureaucracy for the last couple of months, fair is fair.

Which takes me back to the days when I was a civil servant, and we turned going on strike into an art form. We would assemble at the park near Gertrude Flats in Makokoba and literally have a picnic. The women would bring their packed lunches while we brought the drinks, who else?

The government was so peeved that it forced headmasters to take a register of those who came to work. Those found absent would have their pay docked and I was sure to be among them. That was the sacrifice we had to pay since at the end of the day our demands would win the day. What I hated most was that the same heads who submitted our names to the authorities would ultimately benefit as well.

Anyway, enough of the stressful stuff; there is enough at home to fill Lake Kariba. That is why people are leaving politics to the politicians in order to get on with life knowing full well that it is the politicians that have got us in this mess in the first place.

This reality is not lost in the streets of Zimbabwe’s second largest city where the business of survival takes precedent over that of mass deception.

Dear Mr Government…

Money might be tight in Zimbabwe, but not as bad as dramatised some South Africans years back when requesting assistance from their government.
The language has not been altered to protect the innocent, and the identity has not been revealed for the same reason.

“I am glad to say that my husband died yesterday. I will be glad if you get me a pension. If you don’t hurry up I will have to get public assistance,” wrote one widow.

Apart from showing a shocking misunderstanding of the pension system, she obviously has never heard of that fund that one enjoys when one is dead. It’s called insurance.

“I am enclosing my marriage certificate with three children. One of them is a mistake as you can see when you look into it. I am writing to say that my youngest son is born two years old. Why not get allowances for it?” asks another.

Now imagine how you would feel if your mother told you that your birth was a mistake. But never mind, most of us are mistakes when you look into it!

“In accordance with your instructions, I have given birth to twins in the enclosed envelope,” writes another mother, revealing the danger of following instructions without due care and thought for that matter.

The classic of them all is this one where this woman writes; “I want money as badly as quick as you can send it. I have been in bed under the doctor for weeks and he doesn’t seem to be doing me any good. If things do not improve I shall have another doctor.”

Mmmmm!

Giving a car a bad name

My heart goes out to Akio Toyoda, the CEO of Toyota Motor Corporation who has been hauled over hot coals (and before a US Congressional Committee) over the global recall of models of his company’s cars that have potentially fatal defects.

Give the guy a break, he already has lost millions in the process and they kick the man when he is already down.

Nevertheless, that does not preclude the fact that we own a 2007 Toyota Corolla that is, thankfully, yet to accelerate into a ditch. We say a prayer before we drive it!