Friends in high places

SOMETIMES I wish I had friends in high places.

 

I wish I had powerful friends. Friends with power over life and death; friends whose word is law; friends who only have to cough and all the creatures of the world scurry for cover.

 

Sometimes I wish I had friends who upon hearing the sound of my cries come rushing to my defence. But, sadly, I don’t.

 

It wouldn’t even matter that I am professional – with friends in high places, why would I need to brag about my otherwise excellent professional accomplishments? I would still let the world know, whenever necessary, of the great professional that I am.

 

I would demand that I should be allowed to do my work without interference from politicians, especially young upstarts who know nothing about the sacrifice and gymnastics required to serve one’s country. I would call on my powerful friends to say something in my defence and demand that all those interfering in my work be reminded of where power actually lies.

 

I wish I had friends in high places. But, sadly, I don’t.

 

When you have friends in high places, especially those who have guns and those who at one point or another or even on several occasions, ‘died’ for this country, then you are literally untouchable. You are the eagle that simply has to soar above and all the chickens will run for cover. It is their word that rules and if that fails, their fist will be summoned.

 

You can ask them to tell the whole world that you are untouchable. You will stand before the whole world and claim that you are a professional of the highest order; that you are the best thing that ever happened to the country.

 

Oh, how I wish I had friends in high places. But, sadly, I don’t.

 

If I had friends in high places, I would just pick up the phone and tell them that some upstart is threatening me. I would remind them of everything I have done for them. I would show them that any attack against me is also an attack against them and indeed an attack against the revolution. And when they ask why I don’t scratch their backs anymore, I would simply tell them that my nails are too short. If they ask why they have suddenly become short, I would tell them that someone has cut them.

 

I would simply point to the upstart. My good friends would then be obliged to deal with the upstart, first by reminding him that they died for this country and that since he was busy reading books and had not died for Zimbabwe, he ought to know the limits of his power. I so wish I had friends in high places. The sad part is I don’t!

 

If those men in high places were my friends, I would show them the empty coffers. I would tell them why those coffers are empty and because they are empty, that there is not much I can do to make them happy anymore. I would remind them of all the gymnastics that have performed before for their pleasure; I would enlighten them about the miracles that I have had to perform under very hard conditions to keep those coffers full.

All this I cannot do, I would tell them that I can no longer transform lead into gold because my hands are tied. Then I would show them who is tying my hands. I would ask them to please help untie my hands so that I can perform more miracles. I really wish I had friends in high places. But, sadly, I am not so favoured.

 

If I ever felt troubled by any mortal, I would simply put in a word to my friends. I would remind them of all the great deeds I have done to support the ‘revolution’. I would remind them that without me or the facilities I have provided so cheaply, that the revolution would be reversed. I would make sure they appreciate that I am irreplaceable. I would also tell them that I am a professional, a man of impeccable credentials who must be allowed to do his job.

 

If I ever felt threatened by any person, I would send my boys to the archives. I would ask them to open the files and see what this person has done in the past. For everyone has surely done something untoward during times of hardship, that much I would know very well. Everyone would surely have a case or two to answer. I and only I would have the power to resurrect a case or two. Just my word and friends in high places would open the gates to hell, preferably the one at Matapi in order ‘to assist authorities with investigations’ – just to set an example.

 

Some of my friends in high places would probably know a trick or two in the book about causing people to ‘confess’ to their misdemeanours. With all the favours I would have done, they would dilly-dally and dilly-dally some more; long enough to remind every living soul where power lies. If only I had friends in high places. But then I don’t.

 

Some extraordinary circumstances demand extraordinary measures and friends in high places would know that and should be on hand to protect me, if need be. They would be very understanding and appreciative of the ingenious efforts that we would have had to invest. In that case, I would do anything that is possible under the sun and always find justification for it. If only I had friends in high places. But I don’t.   

 

Some of these political upstarts masquerading as democrats often know very little beyond their books. What kind of professional could do their job properly when there is so much political influence? Who surely, could do their job effectively when someone just pops up from nowhere to emasculate your independence?

 

Persons in my position would need all the power they can get. And if I had friends in high places, I would ask them to guard my independence very jealously; to protect me from political interference. A few tough words from friends in high places would do. If only I had friends in high places. Sadly, I don’t.

 

But I am happy I do not have friends in high places. I am happy I never have to call for their help. I am happy I never have to beg for their assistance for them to show the force that conquers all. I am glad I do not have to commission newspaper supplements to defend my conduct.

 

Even if I had any power to protect, I would not want it to be safeguarded by the might of friends in high places. That’s because, I do know for sure, that in this whole wide world, there is nothing like free lunch. I know that the protection that comes from my friends in high places would not be cheap. I know that he who gives can also take away; he who offers protection can also withdraw that protection.

 

If I still had pride and integrity to protect I would not stoop that low. I would not behave like the coward who gets caught up in a fight and upon noticing the legitimate strength of his opponent, then tries to rally all the boys from the village kuita gutse (to call upon friends to help fight a single opponent).

 

I would not pick up stones to throw at my opponent. I would try to stand my ground fight the good fight. I would prefer to pack my bags and protect my dignity and pride than having to rely on the force of others.

 

For what life can it be if I am a prisoner of my protectors? What life would it be if I am forever beholden to my powerful friends in high places? Would I really be happy? Would I really go sleep soundly at night, knowing I am not my own man; knowing that my professional survival is inextricably linked to fortunes of my friends in high places? Can I be happy when I know that I will forever have to rely on the grace and favour of friends in high places?

 

Perhaps then, that’s why I am happy that I do not have friends in high places. But who knows, blessed are they that have friends in high places, for they shall enjoy all the protections of this world. There is a caveat: for as long as they jump when the protectors say jump; so long as they kneel down when the protectors demand. A blessing? Perhaps not. Time, the magician, will tell.

 

Alex Magaisa is based at, Kent Law School, the University of Kent and can be contacted at wamagaisa@yahoo.co.uk