Zimbabwe MPs: local by birth, foreign by taste

During their campaign for election last year, all of them swore their selflessness. They told us all they ever wanted in life was to serve and save the people of Zimbabwe. As proof of their commitment to the cause of the people, most of them could not afford a suit. That did not deter them. Instead, it was proof enough that they were prepared to endure public ridicule for our sakes.

Their metamorphosis has been faster than the coalition government is able to achieve most of its goals in the Short Term Emergency Recovery Programme (Sterp). Well, some say it started with Sterp. After the launch of Sterp, the legislators are said to have told Reserve Bank governor Gideon Gono that if he could help in any way, they could do with second hand vehicle.

They wanted to visit their rural constituencies to explain not only what Sterp was but also its virtues. It was all part of the all-pervasive Global Political Agreement. Remember some had never seen the inside of a vehicle close to being called theirs. It was the prize for their victory in the elections and they needed something to show to friends and family.

Gono was ready to oblige. He had already printed enough Zimbabwe dollars to purchase foreign currency to acquire vehicles for a whole cabinet of close to 70. Nobody had complained about quasi-fiscal expenditures. He said he would loan the MPs some second hand vehicles from his old stock.

There was some ruckus about who should hand-over the keys to the legislators. There still is, if rumour is correct. Some MPs who collected the vehicles have refused to return them. This was despite being warned by their party bosses it was immoral to accept these vehicles under party rules. Only party leaders could receive the vehicles, although under protest. The timid ones never touched Gono’s charmed vehicles, preferring instead to use public transport.

But some are beginning to expose their other side. Finance Minister Tendai Biti, after a lot of gathering but harvesting nothing in and outside Zimbabwe, has finally accepted the limits of friendship. Zimbabwe is broke and friends are few and far between. That means the legislators can’t be allocated vehicles of their choice under the parliamentary vehicle loan scheme. So he told our patriotic MPs.

He said he had found a home-grown solution. This would save both foreign currency while meeting the goals of Sterp. He had negotiated a deal, “kiya-kiyad” in his parlance, with local vehicle assembler Willowvale Mazda Motor Industries. The MPs could collect brand new Mazda T-50 trucks without straining public coffers.

The MPs, I hear, have revolted. The local product was not good enough for their needs, they protested. Some asked ‘why spare costs now when none were spared in getting Mercs for the ministers?’ The modest ones said the Mazda T-50 was not robust enough for the country’s rough rural terrain. (I know a bit about that, although I can’t remember my rural MP ever raising his voice about road repairs to enable us to use public transport).

Some MPs protested their status was being degraded. They had been used to the more comfortable off-roaders from Gono, and now they were being told to accept scotch-carts from Willowvale, just because they were new!

There was still another brigade. Some don’t own a home. Others can’t afford a suit, let alone a vehicle. They were furious that Biti was offering them “cheap” vehicles. They wanted government to stick to the letter and spirit of the parliamentary vehicle loan scheme.

They wanted to be given US$30,000 each to purchase a vehicle of their choice as was the norm in the past. Just in case the message was not loud enough, if there was a shortfall on their vehicle of choice, they would fill it! These are our poor legislators who survive on US$100 a month. That is the official lie or line.

For once, I hear they have come down from the Tower of Babel and they are speaking with one voice. That is to say, there are no Zanu PF or MDC or MDC-T legislators.

It’s hard to get enough of the hypocrisy. So why send Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai on a worldwide begging tour for urgent financial aid if government can readily raise US$30,000 for each of the more than 200 legislators? If our legislators can find sponsors to buy them vehicles, why not do the same for their electors?

But even that is to miss the fundamental irony. If our own public officials are the first to denigrate local products, who is our industry producing for? Whose purchasing power and consumption are supposed to spur the economic recovery under Sterp if all our legislators need locally are votes, but their tastes can be satisfied only by imports?