Mathuthu's Jozi Diary (Day 1)

Mathuthu's Jozi Diary (Day 1)

• Editor's Memo: Voters must demand better leadership

• Editor's Memo: Cut the chase, blame Blair

New Zimbabwe.com editor Mduduzi Mathuthu shares his thoughts about anything and everything on a visit to South Africa, venue of the 2010 soccer World Cup:

Monday, December 11
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WITH trepidation, I begin writing my Jozi Diaries today from Johannesburg.

The last time I did, some moral knights formed a coalition of the willing with some “concerned” mums to share their collective rage at an apparent moral deficiency on my part.

But what’s the point of a holiday when you can’t lose yourself?

To those who have followed this column, it’s more of the same really, except I nearly failed to make it here after missing my flight from Heathrow. After some gentle discussions with airline officials, an alternative was found and I arrived in South Africa Monday morning.

Missing that flight would have been a double blow for me because I had made a tremendous sacrifice – the first time in 16 months that I missed watching or following an Arsenal match completely.

Truth be told, I was not too keen to watch our visit to Chelsea. We were without Thierry Henry, William Gallas and Thomas Rosiscky. More critically, we were without Kolo Toure – an omnipresent force in the Arsenal defence for the past two years.

That we managed to pull a 1-1 draw – effectively taking four points from the teams above us in the league in the two head-to-head games played so far -- completely and utterly buries the idea that somehow, Arsenal are just trying to finish third or fourth.

When Abou Diaby, Biscan Lauren, Rosiscky, Henry and Gallas return, I am in no doubt that we would be able to match any team in Europe and beat them comprehensively.

Widely-circulated news of Arsenal’s demise – most of it rooted in bad luck – is premature, more-so if you consider the teams that should have delivered this blow have failed to beat us.

Enough about Arsenal!
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South Africa has changed since the last time I visited. Gays and lesbians can now get married and become husband and husband after Members of Parliament voted overwhelmingly for the move.

The picture I had of arriving at Johannesburg International was one of finding Thomas and Jerry cuddling up and smooching in the arrival lounge while waiting for Cain from Gloucester, possibly an addition to a steamy three-in-bed orgy.

Imagine then, my relief, at finding things as they were since the last time I came here a year ago. The taxi drivers are still the nice guys they were, and everybody is going about their business as usual.

But imagine again, when the guy who is coming to pick you up, turns up in a striking pink shirt!

I would have felt unsafe and violated, threatened and scared, but then this was Japhet Ncube – a man who can’t tell Chelsea from Arsenal. He is a walking fashion horror movie waiting to be watched!
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My first port of call was Gallo Music – a sister company to the Sunday Times Newspaper – who have been kind enough to send us the latest music from their stable for the past two years.

There, I met Dingilizwe Ntuli, another old friend and soon, we were listening to the brand new Trompies.

After the highs of last year when most of the Trompies members released solo projects, I couldn’t help feeling that this new project was a bit of an anti-climax. It sounds tired and half-baked.

There is only one song – a tribute to Lebo Mathosa and featuring Mafikizolo, Stone (Bongo Maffin) and Thebe – which comes closest to emulating their work from the past, otherwise its flat.

In short, there is not a song on this album that you can play in a club or party and get a reaction. Dead end, they call it in motoring.

But if you are a Kalawa Jazmee disciple like me, you will not be bothered. There are some positives. Professor and T-Zozo feature in one of the tracks, and surprise, surprise, MAGESH, the former TKZee man can be heard in no less than THREE tracks on this album.

Also featuring is Junior Dread (former Boom Shaka).

I wish I could say something positive about this CD from the most consistent kwaito group in the last decade, but I can’t.

While still at Gallo, I tried as much as I could to get industry gossip. There is rampant concern among the traditionalists here that “proper” music is not getting airplay on radio.

Although they insist that it’s still too early to call the race for the Christmas Number 1, a crafty new album by Mgarimbe propelled by the hit track, Sister Bethina and another called Iwewe, is already said to be surging ahead in sales.

Everyone is surprised, but I am not, because I have listened to this particular CD and it’s just great. Sister Betina is a combination of lyrics from over 15 popular songs from the last decade into one song. You got to listen to it to appreciate the genius!

Still on music, the new Malaika is out. Mafikizolo came out at the end of October, and it’s going to be a tight race for the Christmas top spot.

But if you asked me, the best CD I have listen to is Durban’s Finest. Let’s put it this way: this CD will rock your Christmas party. Recommended!
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I should have met South Africa's youngest pensioner, Mzekezeke, in the Rosebank area. I still intend to meet him and find out how the retirement is going.

I phoned Arthur Mafokate, he was doing an interview at a TV station. I think we are still going to meet sometime during the course of the week.

I also spoke to Mutumwa Mawere, a New Zimbabwe.com columnist and businessman. He is off to New York, returning next week. We had a mighty chuckle over Japhet’s pink shirt!
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Later, I visited the Crisis in Zimbabwe offices to see my old friend Nkosinathi Tshuma.

He was not in his office, but a wall picture left me in no doubt that in just under a year, Nkosi has become rugged and old. I don’t need any further persuasion to hate Robert Mugabe!

Also at Crisis, I met Nixon Mao Nyikadzino, another regular New Zimbabwe.com opinion writer.

We share a lot of views chief among them that Zimbabwean politics needs a Third Way decided by the people – chiefly because the Movement for Democratic Change (MDC) has failed.

We both agree that neither Morgan Tsvangirai nor Arthur Mutambara may ever rule Zimbabwe on an MDC ticket.

The reasons are many. Tsvangirai had the 2002 Presidential election result, Operation Murambatsvina in 2005 and a host of other opportunities to turn the screws on the regime – but he failed to mobilise, apart from promises of a Final Push, a Winter of Discontent and other grand schemes.

Mutambara, for his part, has adopted a diseased body politic, but may yet survive the scrutiny of history which has a long memory, we believe.

Our view is that the MDC needs a new leader who is neither Mutambara nor Tsvangirai VERY SOON, or prepare to die.

Zanu PF will certainly reform, if you call getting rid of Robert Mugabe that, and given the fatigue of the MDC’s traditional sponsors in the West who have kept it going, chances are high that they will be prepared to do business around a Zanu PF reforming agenda.

But the most painful part for any Zimbabwean reading this is that neither Tsvangirai nor Mutambara believe they have become part of the problem, and will continue pushing their different agendas.

The issue is not a UNITED MDC – whatever that means – but an MDC capable of unseating Zanu PF and with Tsvangirai’s tired leadership, and Mutambara’s tainted politics, that looks more and more beyond us.

This creates the opportunity for a Third Way -- a coalition of reasonable good doers from whatever group – that will fight Zanu PF on its turf.

It is fine when you are asking donors for their money to say elections were rigged and so on.

But the reality is that Zanu PF has A LOT of people who vote for it in the rural areas, while the MDC holds 'numbers rallies' in urban centers, preaching to the converted and creating the confusing picture that 15 000 people at White City or Dulibadzimu means Zanu PF can only win a national vote through rigging.

The truth is that the MDC has invested too much in rallies, without any sort of assurance that those in attendance will vote for them, or can vote at all. Apparently, public rallies are a critical component of African politics – but they should be complemented by a painstaking voter education process on the ground.

Lovemore Madhuku and his NCA gang of paid protesters know they cannot reform the constitution without reforming Zanu PF. How about, for a change, asking their traditional donors to release money for a process to ensure that all those turning 16 years at the next election are registered to vote, and so on?

Well, as someone said, there are a lot in this opposition movement who want the status quo to continue. The sum effect is that we are postponing a revolution and by the time we get over our personality obsession, Zanu PF would be firmly rooted in power for another 25 years.

What’s so difficult with changing Mutambara, Tsvangirai and Mugabe when the Americans – that symbol of might – can uniformly change presidents and still stay ahead of the game?
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While at Crisis, I met Jacob Mapfume, who is based in their Harare office. I met him briefly last year.

We got talking about Job Sikhala, the St Mary's MP and one of the funniest people I have ever encountered.

The most recent memory we have of him is his uncontrolled explosion in parliament -- nothing new there -- soon after Speaker of Parliament John Nkomo ruled that a committee should impeach Industry and Trade Minister Obert Mpofu over the Zisco affair.

Imagine then, as Mpofu sank in his chair, a gleeful Sikhala timing his moment to rub salt to injury with this cracker: "Obert wasviba, aenda uyu, you are gone shamwari."

Mapfume tells me of a more recent Sikhala moment when he went over to Justice Minister Patrick Chinamasa apparently express his concerns over a recent piece of critical detail that he had got hold of.

"Ah...inga vanhu vari kukunyepera," Job started as his hand softly caressed Chinamasa's balding head. "Kwai mabe kutofa neAids....shoko razara nyika yese. Inga vhudzi riri kutomira wani..? Ah....vanhu manyepo!"

Priceless!
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Later, I went to Rosebank for a CD launch for a new artist called Sinkay. I saw a lot of promise. He is certainly not a Kabelo, but if he gets proper management (the launch was supposed to be at 6PM but only kicked off well after 9PM), he can go places.

While in Rosebank,with Ntuli and Ncube, I met a chap called Prince. Apparently he was at the Miss Zimbabwe UK 2006 contest where I was a judge.

He had his whole family out for dinner. The waiters told me privately that it was the first time they had seen a black man taking his entire family for dinner, and picking up a bill of R2500.

The power of the Pound!
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READ PART NINE OF MATHUTHU'S DIARIES TOMORROW
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mathuthu@newzimbabwe.com