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Lost in translation: the Domestic Bill debate
By
Tony
Namate
THE Domestic Violence Bill (DVB) is being presented as a legal issue
to the ordinary, non-legal person and, as a result, we might have a
situation where some aspects of it are “lost in translation”.
One reader suggested in a letter to the Herald that the Bill should be presented as a national referendum, so that it can be exhaustively discussed at village level, community level, and other conceivable levels.
At the moment, it is being discussed at a highly charged emotional level. And wherever an emotional issue is involved, there is never a winner, because nobody wants to lose. That’s why political party or soccer supporters have killed each other over matters as mundane as T-shirts or soccer jerseys. To some, cultural values are like those soccer jerseys. They make you stand out. They mark your territory.
Question: if I am an MP who is a polygamist, or is a wife beater/cheater, or who married an underage girl, or who took over one’s late brother’s beautiful wife, or whose supporters managed to scare away the other candidates’ supporters during the general elections, how would I vote for the DVB?
In other words, who will legislate the legislators? I might add: who will police the police? Who will guard the guards? Who will…?
Welcome to Africa!
On one side of the DVB debate, there is an uncompromising group, which wants the Bill to be passed as it is. On the other is a group which doesn’t want the Bill to be passed at all, arguing that all aspects of the it are well catered for in the constitution. Somewhere in between, is the undecided group - the grey area or comfort zone - which is probably where I fall in.
But that’s democracy, isn’t it? But more about democracy later.
Domestic violence encompasses cultural, religious, economic and political backgrounds. Frustrations with the political and economic situation, or at the workplace, or at home, or even in church, have been underlying catalysts for domestic violence.
Violence is caused by tensions. Tensions are caused by lack of communication – kufungira.
Kufunga (caring, reasoning, understanding, etc) and kufungira (hurt, suspicion, mistrust, jealousy, casting aspersions, etc) are two words that are Poles apart yet can make or break a relationship.
The biggest form of violence is emotional: it is difficult to heal. The best form of healing is spiritual healing.
Violence does not need to be carried out in order for it to be violence. It can be what I call unperpetrated violence (violence that does not have to be perpetrated, but still hangs like the sword of Damocles, ready to be unleashed on demand). To paraphrase, violence is a bad master but a good servant.
Peer pressure is a form of unperpetrated violence. So is hate speech, tribalism and gossip. It puts pressure on the being, the mind, the soul. How do you legislate against such forms of violence? They leave no evidence. Thus, “preserving family honour” or “putting family first” can be forms of unperpetrated violence.
Then we have “justifiable”
violence, where the police brutalise unarmed demonstrators, or where
party supporters get violent on behalf of their leaders.
Gender issues are very easy to misinterpret or manipulate, depending
on which side your bread is battered. For example, when a child errs
at home, he is physically punished. When an adult errs in the home,
and is punished physically, that is domestic violence. A mother can
give her child the talking eye when he is naughty in the presence of
vanyarikani, and that is called disciplining a child. What
do you call it when a husband gives his wife the talking eye? Emotional
violence? If a husband refuses conjugal rights to his wife, that is
emotional violence, if the wife doesn’t give conjugal rights to
her husband, that is violence because she has a right to do what she
wants with her body.
If your wife finds condoms in your pocket, you are subjecting her to emotional abuse, yet at the same time, searching someone’s pocket without their cinsent is supposed to be an invasion of their privacy. Once upon a time, any adult could discipline any child, but these days one can be arraigned for child abuse! If a man refuses to pay a prostitute for services rendered she has a right to take his trousers as a form of security, while the man can report the woman for theft of his trousers. The above examples might sound peripheral or gender insensitive, but they are not.
The law is an ass, and democracy is a four-letter word. Punishment or discipline is correction. Yet punishment or discipline is a form of violence. Why do we say, “spare the rod and spoil the child”, and not “spare the rod and spoil the adult”?
Culture has been used as the basis upon which domestic violence is perpetrated. In some religions: a woman can be killed for disobeying cultural “laws”. In order not to be killed, she has to obey those “laws”. That is unperpetrated violence. The fear of violence is violence in itself.
We live in a violent society, where domestic violence is so embedded (forgive the pun) it’s almost impossible to get rid of it. But those who are pushing the DVB must not lose the battle to convince the skeptics, for, as Eleanor Roosevelt (1884 - 1962), former US diplomat, wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt and niece of Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.”
Violence is handed down from generation to generation. (Son comes home from school: “Amai ndarohwa kuchikoro”. Mother replies: “Mwana wangu haanzarwo.Rovawo.”)
Violence is the weapon of the opportunist, the preferred weapon of the rapist; the cultural weapon; the political tool and the rival’s last resort in a love triangle. It achieves the desired results – fear. A pastor can easily unleash unperpetrated violence by threatening fire and brimstone on those church members who don’t contribute their tithes to him, while a traditional healer uses the unperpetrated violence of evil spirits to rape his victim. Unperpetrated violence can lead to mental illness, suicide and murder.
Once the DVB becomes an act of parliament, it won’t be long before the clever ones among us start using it to their advantage for all the wrong reasons. For example, the 80’s Age of Majority Act ushered in by the late Edson Zvobgo has seen some clever fathers using it to their advantage. A father can tell his son, who has just turned 18, to start fending for himself since he is now legally an adult. How many 18 year olds out there can look after themselves? Most parents are still paying fees for their children even as they are approaching their mid-twenties!
There are a large number of churches that have sprung up like mushrooms. And an equally large number have gone up in smoke as soon as their leaders have been arrested over some sexual high jinks. If a church really belongs to God, why does it disintegrate once the leader is behind bars?
Only a few days ago religious zealots, believing in Jesus’ imminent second coming, went into fanatical fasting and withdrew into a Bulawayo bush, waiting for their Lord to come and get them. I understand there were some children amongst the group. Surely this is domestic violence?
There are no rules governing religious organizations in this country. And, sadly, there is no written cultural constitution governing our African values, if my memory serves me correct. The nearest thing to a written cultural constitution is a book that I once came across some years ago (I think it was titled The Cultural beliefs of the Shona), written – surprisingly - by a white man.
Why is it that we do not have written cultural constitutions? Cultural laws have been practically handed down by word of mouth over the generations, and most of them have been misinterpreted to suit people as they go along. The fact that there is no written cultural constitution means a man can say “pachivanhu chedu ndozvatinoita” and proceed to violate somebody’s rights without anyone bothering to check because it is not written in stone.
Even then, culture is not an excuse to commit crime. Jacob Zuma’s misuse of Zulu culture to justify sleeping with his young guest is a case in point. Even if sleeping with a virgin could cure AIDS, that does not make rape justifiable. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt, This Is My Story (1937).
The domestic violence bill needs a “sister bill” to accompany it in the form of a written cultural constitution that will govern our lives as Africans. Chivanhu ngachinyorwewo pasi. Our cultural practices must be written in booklet form or taught at primary school level.
Most domestic violence is a result of cultural misinterpretation: if my forefathers did it, so can I. In some cultures, violence “brings out the man in you”.
A cultural constitution can teach our children the several ways of respecting elders and other people; conducting cultural rituals like rite of passage; the process of courtship; marriage; traditional or religious thanksgiving; what to do when someone dies; etc. We cannot continue to teach these things verbally, as they change through misinterpretation. One advantage of a written cultural constitution would be that today’s children will also have the chance to learn about their own culture at their own pace. It is said that a well brought up child is the one who learnt at his grandfather’s knee.
Cultural values are usually learnt when ones only goes kumusha. Alas, most people last visited their kumusha eons ago, owing to economic and AIDS-related pressures. Some households are now orphan-headed.
Let’s deal with the fruit of domestic violence without forgetting to deal with the seeds. We must grab this chance to close the loopholes that justify domestic violence. The fact that we have capital punishment in Zimbabwe has not stopped the murder rate from increasing.
The DVB needs thorough panel-beating before we can all accept it and agree and say with finality, “Ehunde.”
All forms of violence must be legislated against.
Namate is an award-winning Zimbabwean cartoonist
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