Issue 3, 20-27 June 2003 "The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they suppress"

CARTOONS
JOKES

ABOUT US
RULING PARTY ZANU PF
OPPOSITION MDC

BRITISH FOREIGN OFFICE

AMERICAN STATE DEPT
 "My feelings - as usual - we will slaughter them all" - Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
HEAD TO HEAD: GREATEST LIARS OF ALL TIME

"We should feel some sympathy for that bishop (Father Pius Ncube) because he does not need our criticism, he needs our prayers."

"The MDC are plagiarists, sell-outs, shameless opportunists and merchants of confusion."

"Whites supporting the opposition are embittered racists using black mouthpieces to preach mean-spirited democracy."

"The current struggle for land reforms has forced them [journalists] to show their true colours by covering the story from a position of involvement and advocacy."

"Thomas Jefferson said it was better to have newspapers without government. He was very, very wrong. It is far better to have government without newspapers."

"You (Americans) are more than two centuries away from the actual individuals who fought for the liberation of the US but we are only 22 years from this (Independence) and the people who fought are here. It would be a mockery to them and to the cause they fought for, if they were suddenly to be made to salute one of the people they fought against...We don't expect the Jews to salute the Nazis."

"This (England's cricket world cup boycott of Zimbabwe) is obviously not about safety and security, it is just political mumbo-jumbo."

"If they (High Court judges) all think the same, why should we not have one judge and save money."

"It is very clear that what we are now dealing with is organised economic terrorism whose aim is clear and is to unseat a legitimately elected government which has decided to defend its national independence and national sovereignty."

"There is so much hypocrisy in this whole talk about the government subverting democracy - it`s really about protecting the interests of the white minority, which in Zimbabwe is threatened by the needs of the majority."

"MDC has benefited from a protest vote. It is a dangerous vote in volatile areas. We have the heart of the economy, the rural areas."

"To me Iden Wetherell (Editor of the Zimbabwe Independent) is either a British spy, agent, or just an ordinary stupid white man.”

"I have always had a nagging feeling that for all their propensity for liberal values and civilised norms, these people (South Africans) are dirty.”

"Sexual perverts need to be told once again that homosexuality is unnatural. The only people who accept homosexuality are liberals who think it is a way of getting votes."

"(Robert) Mugabe is someone who accommodates, someone who listens (and) will naturally treat his enemies with understanding."

"It is you people (South Africans) who have Mandela [squatter] camps all over the place, not us. In fact, the average black person in Zimbabwe is better off than the average black person in South Africa."

"Interventionist behaviour by some US embassy personnel who have been trespassing on to some farms under the guise of looking for alleged displaced farm workers has resulted in spontaneous attacks on them by villagers."

"There are no displaced farm workers in Zimbabwe and the embassy knows that."

"Everyone knows that the US is the citadel of mafia conduct and racist vigilante groups. When will America restore its rule of law by controlling the mafia and the Ku Klux Klan?"

"What should a reasonable person believe? It is something that is fair, accurate, objective and balanced. Where do you find that? In Zimbabwe today you find it on ZBC-TV and radio. You also find it in the six titles under Zimpapers."

"The freedom of expression that Zimbabweans believe in and will defend with their lives is the one that came with our hard won independence in 1980 and not the white liberal stuff based on the collapse of the Berlin Wall in 1989."

"The foreign correspondents, led by the confused Andrew Meldrum and his local running dogs approached the (Access to Information and Protection of Privacy) Bill with open mouths and shut minds and what a pity that has been..."

"In (a) country like Zimbabwe, where torture is not culture, aggressive interrogation can easily be mistaken for or deliberately taken as torture."

"I wish to make it categorically clear that I have no apology whatever to waste on these peeping Toms, spies and apartheid mambaras masquerading as journalists and dreaming of leading the African renaissance."

"If the British and Australians want to keep cricket as a white and colonial sport, then they should do so alone because we are not interested in their rubbish."

>Jonathan Moyo, Joseph Goebbels and black propaganda
>Professor Jonathan Moyo: The author/political analyst
"The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad... Be assured, Baghdad is safe, protected. Iraqis are heroes."

"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"

"They tried to bring a small number of tanks and personnel carriers in through al-Durah but they were surrounded and most of their infidels had their throats cut."

"We made them drink poison last night"

"Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly."

"God willing, I will provide you with more information. I swear by God, I swear by God, those who are staying in Washington and London have thrown these mercenaries in a crematorium."

"Are these the Americans? People remain silent and placate the Americans. By God, they only deserve scorn. We slaughtered them yesterday and we will continue to slaughter them."

"I would like to clarify a simple fact here: How can you lay siege to a whole country? Who is really under siege now? Baghdad cannot be besieged. Al-Nasiriyah cannot be besieged. Basra cannot be besieged."

"Our estimates are that none of them will come out alive unless they surrender to us quickly. They are completely surrounded now. "

"Blair... is accusing us of executing British soldiers. We want to tell him that we have not executed anybody. They are either killed in battle, most of them get killed because they are cowards anyway, the rest they just get captured."

"I can say, and I am responsible for what I am saying, that they have started to commit suicide under the walls of Baghdad. We will encourage them to commit more suicides quickly."

"I told you yesterday that the shock has backfired on them. Indeed, they are shocked because of what they have seen. No one received them with roses. They were received with bombs, shoes and bullets. Now, the game has been exposed. Awe will backfire on them. This is the boa snake. We will extend it further and cut it in the appropriate way."

"No, I am not scared and neither should you be!"

"Now even the American command is under siege. We are hitting it from the north, east, south and west. We chase them here and they chase us there. But at the end we are the people who are laying siege to them. And it is not them who are besieging us."

"One hundred infidels commited suicide as they entered the holy city of Bagdhad. Their tanks will become their tombs."

"Our initial assessment is that they will all die"

"The Cruise missiles do not frighten anyone. We are catching them like fish in a river. I mean here that over the past two days, we managed to shoot down 196 missiles before they hit their target."

"The fact is that as soon as they reach Baghdad gates, we will besiege them and slaughter them. Until now they have refused to do battle with us. They are just going places. One can describe them as a boa: when it feels threatened, it runs to somewhere else."

"The United Nations [is] a place for prostitution under the feet of Americans."

"These images are not the suburbs of Baghdad. From what I glimpsed, these gardens with rows of palm trees on the side, which you saw in the images, are located in the south of Abu Ghreib, where we have surrounded the Americans and British."

"They are superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone."

"They fled. The American louts fled. Indeed, concerning the fighting waged by the heroes of the Arab Socialist Baath Party yesterday, one amazing thing really is the cowardice of the American soldiers. We had not anticipated this."

"W. Bush, this man is a war criminal, and we will see that he is brought to trial."

"We blocked them inside the city. Their rear is blocked."

"What they say about a breakthrough [in Najaf] is completely an illusion. They are sending their warplanes to fly very low in order to have vibrations on these sacred places... they are trying to crack the buildings by flying low over them."

"When we were making the law, when we were writing the literature and the mathematics the grandfathers of Blair and little Bush were scratching around in caves."

>www.thatiraqiminister.com
>www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com
>PROFILE: Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
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