New Zimbabwe.com

Crimes of passion, love and sex

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SO, LIKE every other person, I too fell madly, deeply and truly in love with someone. Oh, I loved this man. I would do anything for the brother – cross the ocean; bring-him-the-moon type of love. I even gave the brother a beautiful baby girl. I loved the guy.
But one fateful night while we were together preparing to do the business, we were so rudely disturbed by a text message on his phone. Now you all know when you are lying together in bed, it is so easy to read your partner’s text as soon as he opens it. That is how l discovered he was not only sexting with another woman, but he was downright cheating.
I was heartbroken.  My world stood still. I got so angry I could have very easily grabbed a knife and stabbed him. But I didn’t. Why, you ask? Simple, I do not have it in me to murder a partner for a heartbreaking act. I seriously don’t believe crimes of passion have anything to do with real love.
The stories of “sins of love” are numerous. This past week, our news was marred with stories of people alleged to have lost their lives at the hands of their lovers. In Bulawayo, residents of Cowdray Park were left startled after Sithabile Ndlovu-Ncube, a flea market vendor, was found dead, dumped in a storm drain. Brighton Chagonda, a police officer, has since been arrested and arraigned before the courts for her murder. According to the court papers, a misunderstanding arose after the deceased attempted to end their affair.
Some 260km away in Harare, a similar and much publicised Irvine Mereki-Claris Chopamba murder-  suicide occurred. It is speculated that Irvine lost it and shot his lover then turned the gun on himself after reading messages meant for his girlfriend sent by another man thanking her for a splendid time they had earlier on enjoyed.
The ongoing DJ Munya murder-for-hire is also worthy of mention. It is alleged DJ Munya hired some hitman to eliminate Tinashe Magorimbo, who was having an affair with his wife. What is quite intriguing about the DJ Munya issue is that it is alleged he ordered a hit on his wife’s lover strangely not upon discovering of the affair, but after Tinashe Magorimbo failed to pay DJ Munya compensation for having an affair with his wife.
Our politicians too have not been spared from the sins of love. We all remember the 2002 Learnmore Jongwe-Rutendo Mausha murder-suicide and in 2011 Justin Chiota, the then Zimbabwe People’s party president, murdered his wife then committed suicide over an infidelity-related dispute.Advertisement

The unnecessary loss of lives is just so disturbing. I will not even go into the numerous cases of assault perpetrated by people on their lovers.  I can’t help but wonder if crimes of passion are acts of undying and everlasting love or merely an issue of sex?
Human beings are by nature selfish. We just don’t like sharing. What really ticks us off is the idea of sharing a lover. We hate to share our lovers not because we love them so passionately but because the idea of our lover getting some action elsewhere really infuriates us.  The thought that our partners may be getting action much better than we deliver it, can drive one insane.
Yes, women and men alike go blind with anger at the thought that someone else is doing it with their lover. Just the thought of someone else eating from the same honey pot that they eat from has resulted in many committing murder. It is our expectation that the precious honey pot ought to be reserved just for us only. This is worsened in a society like ours where we tend to be so territorial over our beloveds.  We seem to assume we have some sort of ownership on them: “Murume wangu”, “mukadzi wangu”, “mine!”
Truth be told, you might think you possess your lover but you certainly cannot control them.  Sadly, each and every person moves around with their privates and uses them as they deem fit. There is nothing you can do about that.
The notion that people hurt or even kill their lovers out of love to me is nonsensical. Can one hurt the one they love? Can one act in a fit of rage when we know that love is patient?  Is love not about forgiveness?  Are we not told that love does not keep a record of wrongs? Is love not about accepting the other with their flaws?
Surely, crimes of passion have nothing to do with love. To me, it appears crimes of passion are acts of dangerous rage over sex. Is it really necessary to spend the rest of your life in prison out of jealously over the “honey pot”?
Carol is a social commentator who calls it as she sees it. E-mail her: dubecarol5@gmail.com